Now available, from Acme-Johnson Industries:
This new device is rapidly proving itself to be the most accurate, foolproof and intuitive weather-monitoring device for sale anytime, anywhere!
Invented by highly acclaimed Polish and Russian meteorologists, this device has been developed and tested with the best technology available by the best authorities in Russia and Poland.
To tell the weather with this marvelous new invention, observe the physical characteristics of the Weather Rock 1.0:
· It must be sunny or cloudy
· No precipitation, at any rate
· It is raining
· You left the sprinkler on
· The device is mounted improperly, and has been mistaken
for a hydrant by Fido
· It is snowing
· It is windy
· There is an optional Tilt-O-Meter available to accurately
measure the wind speed
· Then it is really windy
· The crime rate is rising
To install your Weather Rock 1.0, find a
piece of rope about four feet long, and secure one end to the Weather
Rock 1.0 in any fashion pleasing to you, and fasten the other end
securely to any surface which will allow an open view to the sky
from directly above the Weather Rock 1.0, and the Weather Rock 1.0
must have ample space around it to allow for movements in severe
weather. It is imperative that the mountings to both Weather Rock
1.0 and mounting surface be very, very secure, for obvious reasons.
Acme-Johnson does offer a patented tripod-mounting system, which
allows the Weather Rock 1.0 to be transported to any location, and
provides a stable platform for all weather conditions.
NOTICE: This is only a joke.